In thinking about.....

I'm just a girl, searching for where God wants me next, but living constanly in the present, reflecting on the past enough to see hope for the future.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

ACK!

So i have made no progress on my school desision, i am waiting to hear back from my dream job in Chicago. But we'll see what happens.

But in way better news! I bought a camera today!!!!! I have been wanting a digital SLR for ages! and i finally bought one! It cost me so much money, but then i rememebred that most of it was a gift from my step grandma! I am so excited! I bought a Digital Rebel by Cannon, XTi and two accompaing lessons. I almost went the step up the D 30 but it was soo big! i just couldn't see myself actually wanting to carry it around. Maybe i should have up graded, but I LOVE my new camera. I also want you all to know that i have a love-affair with dresses! oh my gosh! I bought two new white dresses today, but combined the cost the price of one white dress.
I know this post is pointless consumerism, but i am very excited!


i thought i might have posted a picture of it, but i am not sure. I may have to try again later! anywaz, hope you are well!:)

Friday, June 22, 2007

WHAT SHOULD I DO??!?!?!?!

I have been offered a contract:
Montana Conrad Chrisitian
$16,000 for the year
5 students
1 in grade 5
1 in grade 6
3 in grade 7

IS it worth the experiance? Can i really afford it?

most importantly... Do i take the job?

Monday, June 18, 2007

Prayers please

This time i write in a simple request relating to my past post. I would apperciate prayers for some desicions that are coming my way. In realting to true faith, how does one know what GOd is speaking directly to ones heart? I feel a bit like Jonah right now. i think GOd is calling me to a place i do not want to go.... to a one room schoolhouse in mt. I am not sure that i want to teach 5 studnets all year, grades 5, 6, 7 and make only 16,000$ and live in a town of 2500. its not even that i am not sure, its that i know i don't want to. But i feel that GOd is calling me there, but what exactly does one feel when GOd wants one somewhere?
I have faith God will provide, but do i need more faith if i want him to provide somewhere else, or is it faith to leap and go where i do not want to go, but believe he wants me to go. What if i am wrong? there is no act of reasoning here at all, to any one who knows me this should come as a bit of a surprise that i am even at all concered with reason-- that is usally far from my free-spirited heart. BUt now reason and freedom seem to be conflicting in my mind. Maybe it is not even reason and freedom, but reason and faith.
advice apperciated, prayers appercirted more!:)
Blessings!:)

Saturday, June 09, 2007

True Faith

Week one of Bible camp done. Unfortunatlly we have decided to cancel our first week of family camp, which in reality is fine with me, because i do not feel prepared for that job currently. It seems to me like we have a really good staff, but they are soo young! Three of our conulars are the same age as my little brother and sister, that is kinda wierd to me! But they seem eager to work and seem to really enjoy each other. I felt welcome right away. BUt now i am home, and that is wierd. What else is new. i am not totally convinced that you are supposed to live with your family after you have moved out on your own. But that is ok, it is all part of the experaince. I am still in the hunt for a job, but things seem more promising, probally becuase i have had more of an opportunity to look for a job, amazing how that works.
As part of camp training we had to take a solo, time alone for me and God, something i have grown to cherish, and long for. I know, Sandy Altena would be proud. ANwyaz, I have given this whole job thing to God repeatedly, becuase i have no idea where God wants me to be and i desire to fullfill his purpose where ever it is. Anwyaz, i had begun to doubt that what i thought about faith was really true. I wondered if trusting totally and completely was really enough. So here i was sitting in the middle of a field listening and watching. i watched as about 5 barn swallows en-circled me. Swooping down in front of me around me and then got lifted up and carried by the wind about 3 feet and then they swooped down again and got carried by the wind. When they really wanted to stay somewhere for a while they would stay close to the ground and then they would allow themselves to be carried by the wind. It was extremely windy out that day. So i began to think of that verse (i cannot rememeber where it is found, please help me out) where it talks about not a sparrow can fall from the tree with out the eye of its heavenly father. And i began to think that complete trust is hard, but God takes care of his creation no matter how big or how small the creation is. and GOd will take care of me. That means that i still have to hunt, like the barn swallow, but i can be free in my trust, just as they are free to fly on the wind to whereever it carries them. Maybe i am off target, a little loopy or just plain free, but i would love to hear your thoughts on what True Faith is. I took a look at Hebrews 11 and 12 as well, and i have hard pressed to find a definition that makes sense to me. Thoughts please! Blessings, Rachel;)