Happy Easter!

So this afternoon i was eating easter dinner with my family and nieghbors, and after dinner we retired to the sitting room to enjoy coffee and reading aloud from joke books. Here is one of my favoirtes! It is a bit long, so bear with it and read all of the descriptions:
Job Describtions:

Senior Pastor:
-is able to leap tall buildings in a single bound
-is more powerful then a locomotive
-is faster then a speeding bullet
-walks on water
-gives polices to God

Associate Pastor:
-is able to leap short buildings in a single bound
-is as powerful as a switch engine
-is just as fast as a speeding bullet
-walks on water if the sea is calm
-talks with God

Educational Director:
-Leaps small buildings with a running start
-almost as powerful as a switch engine
-is faster then a speeding BB
-walks on water if he/she knows where the rocks are
-talks with God if special request is approved

Music Director:
-Clears a Quonset hut
-loses races with a locomotive
-can fire a speeding bullet
-swims well
-is occasionally adressed by God

Youth Director
-Runs into small buildings
-reconizes locomotives two out of three times
-used a squirt gun in college
-knows how to use the water fountian
-mumbles to himself

Church Secretary:
-Lifts buildings to walk under them
-kicks locomotives off the track
-cathes speeding bullets in her/his teeth
-when God speaks, she/he says: "May i ask who is calling"