Time for a post about something deeper then what i do for a living!

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays, etc. I hope the holidays were good for all.
I have been home now for one week and i have one week to go, i am so excited that i have a week yet to spend here!

I have come the relization over this break that i miss my friends who really challenge me and share what God is doing in thier lives and ask what God is doing in my life. Granted there has been just a lot of catching up with people about their jobs and social lives, but there is that element of challenge, and ability to see God in everything that they do and in every area of thier lives. I am not sure i have that right now outside of the people i know here. The other teacher i work with and I talk about what God is doing in our lives... but i feel like something is missing. I wonder if it is becuase i don't know these people where i live as well becuase living in college is such a different experiance, or if people are not willing to share, or if somehow in the last year i lost the ability to ask good questions that allow people to share what God is doing in their lives. To me i wonder if i have become complacent with just living easily and not taking on challenges in my faith and life. Everyday has its own set of challenges i suppose, but what about being challenged in what i believe about living out my faith? What about people who hold me accountable for my actions and desisions? What happend to that kind of community? and how the hell do i get it back!? Excuse the language, but i use it to make a point.. i am annoyed with myself i think, for something... something makes me annoyed and out of sorts! I should make a point to note that i am so thankful for the long distance (and closeby) friendships i have been able to enjoy and seeing those people again to catch up, because they are all such blessings to me!

I am excited and almost ready to go home to conrad, i do feel like that place is home, and i am excited to see people there again and i am not quite ready to go back to work, but i am ready to fall back into routine. But i do feel like i have lost a part of myself scince the people i knew are scattered and lives move on and maybe that is why i feel like it is a lost. I am excited to see where people are and what they are doing and hearing what God is doing in thier lives. and i am excited for them and with them.

But somewhere in the last 5 months my passion for what God is doing in my own life has dwindled and that annoys me. I used to have such a passion to dig and find out waht people think and why and to have discussions that would cause growth for all people invloved, but now i find myself hiding behind the fun and estatic side of myself and i miss the side that thinks things through and tries to grow in my faith and in my relationships with others... i am mostly annoyed with myself. So maybe not a nesscarily happy topic for the holdiays, but something i have been thinking about for the last week. Man, i miss that community of beleivers that is so closely knit and so ready to disscuss issues of faith, joys and struggles. Well, i hope and pray that you all have someone who is challenging you to grow!